We are experiencing a massive PLAY deficit among children. This means that kids are more likely to become anxious, depressed, and have poor emotional regulation, be less creative, able to problem-solve less well, have lower IQ’s, have reduced social skills, and more.

I’m not just talking about play in the streets, in backyards, and parks. I’m also talking about play at home, indoors, in bedrooms, and playrooms. Play with dolls, blocks, and cars.

Why aren’t kids playing?

1. Increases in Structured Play Activities
2. More Technology
3. Adult Control over Children’s Play
4. Fear Over Children’s Safety
5. Higher Concern for Safety
6. Academically-Oriented Schools
7. Disregard for the Value of Play

Why does PLAY matter?

• Mental Health
  • Better moods
  • Decreased hyperactivity
  • Decreased anxiety and depression in childhood and all the way to the adult years
• Physical Health
  • More movement and more varied types of movement
  • Decreased likelihood of obesity or other diseases
  • Development of fine and gross motor skills.
• Cognitive Health
  • Better problem solving skills
  • Increased creativity
  • Higher levels of sequencing, planning, and organization
  • Higher IQs
  • Increased leadership and collaborative skills
  • Better social skills

I’ve tried many different things over the years to see what works and what doesn’t. I’ve tried working full-time remote job, I’ve tried being a stay-at-home mom, tried working part-time, tried preschool, public school, daycare, homeschool, put my kids in sports, art, music, and acting as well as had times when they had zero activities and no school.

And I’ve spent hundreds of hours pouring over articles and scientific studies about childhood development, especially early childhood development, but some on the later years as well.

I worked a full-time job all last year and my kids seemed fine – except my middle child was oddly depressed. Then in the winter, after returning to just running Tracks and Roots, my kids stopped playing quite so much. We became too busy in our excitement to get more involved with various activities after masks were no longer required. My super athletic daughters moved up and up in gymnastics and were so excited about it, it was hard to say no.

As a result, my oldest (11 years old) refused to play with my youngest (5 years old) and if my oldest was home, my middle child (9) wouldn’t play with him either. My oldest spent her free time largely reading, drawing, or creating art on the computer – very occasionally playing with my 9-year-old. My youngest wouldn’t even play alone much, but would cling to me, whine, and want one-one-one time with me all day. Some of this issue might have been due to the age of my youngest and my older two are girls, he’s a boy and a can be a bit of a handful, sometimes throwing things and hurting them or jumping on them.

This summer, my main goal was to get them all playing well together again, but especially my middle child and youngest. So, we signed my oldest up for a camp so should be gone for a few days. That helped some, but as soon as she returned, everything was back to normal.

So, I decided to try more hours at home, together as well as at playgrounds, the pool, and parks. My husband and I also play with our kids a lot, but this doesn’t seem to help them play alone together – something I need so I can squeeze in some work and just to handle the regular, household tasks.

Kids need time to be bored and for their brains to reset. It’s easy to fall into the trap that sports will keep kids off screens and that parents need to manage all of their time at home through Instagram-worthy crafts, baking, or games, but it isn’t actually free-play and won’t help them mentally and emotionally as much. Not that I’m saying those activities aren’t great, but just I don’t recommend only allowing for that during your child’s day. Even physically, most sports other than swimming and gymnastics, don’t work the muscles as much as an hour at the playground playing tag or monster does.

These past few weeks, I’ve talked less, interfered less, took them shopping less (something I rarely do anyway because 3 kids at the store causes my energy to crash really fast), allowed less screen time (though surprisingly, we do allow some most days – just from a desktop or tv, never in the car, and at 5 p.m. after a day of playing and chores), took them to few to zero organized activities, kept my chore requests confined to one time during the day. I didn’t necessarily make them go outside unless I’m going out too, but stayed nearby and quiet.

And now, just like that, my kids can play for HOURS upon HOURS together. Think about how much easier that makes my life for a second. Rather than driving them around town, paying lots of money trying to keep them entertained and fit, so I can squeeze in one load of laundry and ten minutes of work per day, they now will play at home for free for the entire day, day after day!

It’s still work for me, of course. I still have to feed them, help keep their toys and clothes organized, do the dishes, laundry, and shopping. But, it’s less work and less money and I have more time if they just play at home.

Yes, it’s hard to measure the skills, abilities, and talents kids are building from free-play especially in the preschool years, but the evidence will become clear in their physical agility, reduced whining and tears, and high school performance. My kids are only 3 out of billions, but the evidence is there that free play is MUCH more important than extracurriculars, screen time (even educational), and high-pressure academics if you spend even a second searching for it. There are many, many studies on this . . . and also looking to the happiest country on Earth, Finland can give proof to this idea.

I would LOVE to hear from you! What have you done to encourage play at your house?